Running reflections December 23, 2011

As I went on an hour-long run today I found myself grateful for so many things. I am grateful to live in such a wonderful city. I’m grateful for the sunshine that is present almost every day! On my run I went to Elysian Park, the second largest park in LA and very close to my house. My neighborhood and the park is set on a hill. Along the ridge and through the park the view is amazing. I was able to jog and see the buildings of Downtown LA, various cities that make up the surrounding area, the iconic Hollywood sign, the gorgeous mountains and what I can at least pretend is the ocean. On my jog I also found myself becoming overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing people I have met and serve with here in LA.

This past month has been hard, for a multitude of reasons including being homesick. Thanksgiving was my second time I was not able to spend the holiday with my family. This is my first Christmas not with my immediate family. I made the decision when I took the US-2 position to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas in my community.  I work with people who often cannot see their families for the holidays. For many it is not worth the risk and danger to cross borders to see loved ones for the holidays. For many the cost of traveling is too much, as well as luxury of having time off from one’s job if one is fortunate enough to have a job. While my decision was a choice not forced upon me by immigration laws or my economic situation, it does give me a glimpse of what many people go through during the holidays.

These past few weeks I’ve been reminded of what an amazing community I have here in LA. I live with wonderful people who have become family. The church I work in is full of wonderful people who care for my soul in amazing ways. The friends I’ve made already support me and care for me in ways I did not think were possible in such a short time. I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who give me the space and freedom to discern my call here in LA, to question my own beliefs and culture I come from, to wrestle with hard questions and to ask where God is. I have wonderful friends all over the country and world who are supporting me in wonderful ways, often ways I am not aware of, asking me how I am, and praying for me. I was talking to a good friend from seminary who recently moved to China and we were talking about how much those prayers mean to us. Before when someone said they were praying for me it meant a lot, but here, when I am struggling, those prayers carry me until I’m able to see the wonderful things God provides. Thank you for the prayers!

These past few weeks I’m also reminded of how amazing my family is. Today is the 17th anniversary of my grandfather Buck’s death. I remember seeing Buck take his last breaths and how powerful it was to be in the same room with someone you love and care for as they pass on from this world. I’m reminded of my aunt who recently lost her dad and the grieving she, my uncle, my cousins and their kids are all going through. I’m reminded of my uncle Jamo who passed away this summer and what an impact he was on my family. I come from a family who is incredibly supportive of me and my ministry, and my uncle Jamo always wanted to know how I was, what I was doing and talk theology and politics (two fun topics to me!). As I continue to grieve I am reminded of my cousins, their children, and my aunt, as this will be a difficult Christmas for them. Yet in the midst of my family grieving they continue to express their love in wonderful ways, to sending wonderful Christmas cards, pictures and flowers, phone calls and emails. I come from a family not afraid to show love abundantly!

As I spend my first Christmas not with my immediate family I am reminded that this is not a joyous time of the year for everyone. My prayers are with those who are grieving, those who cannot see their family for a variety of reasons, those who need others’ prayers to carry them through this season. May we not forget that Christ came into a worn down world. As we celebrate the birth of Christ may we also be reminded that the world is still worn down. May Christ fill us to be God’s hands and feet and beacons of hope. May we be God’s instruments as God slowly bring in the birth of a new world, where God’s love emanates from all of God’s creation and the walls we have created to separate us as brothers and sisters and broken down forever.

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