Holy Spirit moments at General Conference May 15, 2012

General Conference was a painful experience most of the time, but there were also some beautiful Holy Spirit moments. Here are the places I felt the Holy Spirit

On Wednesday morning as delegates were entering the Tampa Convention Center my friend Michelle and I were handing out the Love Your Neighbor coalition paper. A woman, Ginger, came up to us who was handing out Good News papers (a conservative branch of the United Methodist Church). I was wearing my name tag which said I am a US-2 young adult missionary. My friend Michelle is a Mission Intern serving in Germany, we met and became good friends during our training as young adult missionaries. Ginger asked us what we did. Michelle answered we’re young adult missionaries with the General Board of Global ministries working for social justice-oriented organizations. Michelle shared how she came to join the United Methodist Church through her campus ministry. Ginger herself has spent many years working with campus ministry and was very excited to share her love for young adults with us. She also said hmm, it’s interesting how we use the same words, like social justice, but I have a feeling they have different meanings for us. Michelle and I agreed. She then asked us what we do. I shared that I work with immigrants. I expected either a visceral response or an a oh that’s nice but not what her face said response but was very surprised by her actual response. She said something to the affect of usually I would not be sure about this, but there is this family who comes to my church. She then proceeded to tell Michelle and I about this family that comes to her church. Through the relationships she has established with this family, it’s changed her outlook on immigration. This family is very involved in the church, the son is very active in the praise band and Ginger assured me multiple times that he knows the Lord. From what Ginger described I would imagine this family is Latino. She didn’t know their documentation status, and asked for ways she could help them. Though the family is very involved, their children have never gone on trips with the youth group. I shared that it’s very important to find a good, reputable immigration attorney in her area. If the family comes to her asking for help having a good immigration attorney would be key. She asked if she should pry into their documentation status. Michelle, who works with immigrant youth and children, replied that Ginger should just love them, if and when they feel comfortable sharing they would. The whole encounter reminded me of the importance of incarnational relationships. Incarnational relationships are the next step in the Immigrant Welcoming Congregations journey for which I’m the organizer. These relationships can take years to build, but its a deep relationship that changes both parties. These can be hard to establish with people who look and have different life stories than us but allow us to see a different perspective and be affected by these relationships. Had Ginger not met and know this family so well she would have a very different idea of immigration. It would be an issue to her and not a family. The Holy Spirit has been at work at Ginger’s church!

On the last Friday at the Love Your Neighbor Coalition tabernacle Bishop Melvin Talbert shared his thoughts and views on marriage for all. In the Tabernacle to hear Bishop Talbert share were about 15 Bishops, retired and current bishops. They chose to stand up for Bishop Talbert’s message. Bishop Talbert made it very clear his words were his own, but after a week of seeing how we don’t communicate well and listen to each other, I was moved to tears by how the Holy Spirit was at work in the tabernacle. These bishops present didn’t necessarily agree with with Bishop Talbert was saying, but they were willing to be present, to listen. I wonder what General Conference would look like if we took more time out to listen to each other. What would General Conference look like if we listened to God, to the movements of the Spirit?

On Friday afternoon the Judicial Council ruling on the constitutionality of the restructure plan, called Plan UMC, was deemed unconstitutional. As I was hearing debate and discussions on the plans throughout the week I kept reassuring myself, thankfully God works outside of the structures we create. I was distraught over the plan to make the Committee on Inclusion (which would be a combination of the Commission on Religion and Race and the Commission on the Role and Status of Women) less autonomous. I felt like this was a move back for a denomination that does not do enough to protect minorities and women. When the plan was deemed unconstitutional I felt like it was the Holy Spirit saying you all haven’t perfected it yet.  It was a reminder for me that yes, God was in this place. A reminder to me that we must allow room for God to move in our General Conference!

Pictures from my time in Tampa, picture of me and my friend Jeehye, pictures of Kara and I (a Mission Intern serving in Colombia), pictures of Michelle and I, pictures of General Conference when Plan UMC was deemed unconstitutional, picture of Bishop Talbert sharing, picture of me and my aunt and uncle

Reflections from a hard day at General Conference May 4, 2012

I am very lucky to have the opportunity to attend General Conference of the United Methodist Church. The Methodist Federation for Social Action Cal-Pac chapter generously agreed to support me attending General Conference.

General Conference days are very long, but today was an especially long and emotionally exhausting day. My heart has been very heavy today. In the Love Your Neighbor tabernacle this morning we discussed our plan for the day which included lots of prayer. As the Bible study started at General Conference we prayed outside of the bar of the conference. The bar of the conference was set to distinguish between delegates and visitors/press. We had said in our discussion this morning we would pray in pairs and rotate turns praying, but as the morning went on few of us left, in fact more people joined in. A few minutes into our praying a local pastor came up to two of my friends and began sharing how hurtful things had been said to her and she felt silenced. We took time to pray with her as our hearts began to get heavy. As the morning session went on we made a new friend at the bar of the conference, Lois. Prayers from the fence at the tabernacle were handed out and it was comforting to pray with a cloth and for pleas from churches. When the human sexuality legislature came up the prayer line grew even more to an almost steady wall of people praying. One delegate asked about the bar of the conference and if he could vote if he went to join his brothers and sisters in prayer on the delegate side of the bar, which was allowed. It was so powerful and moved me to tears as delegates joined us at the bar of the conference. Prayer is powerful and I felt God’s presence in our witness. Unfortunately our witness was not strong enough to change language or even pass legislation saying that we as a denomination disagree on this issues. I found myself praying for our repentance, what did we do in Africa to spread such false theology? How do we have such poorly theologically trained laity and even clergy in our churches? Some of the statements I have heard in my days at General Conference have caused me to question what is being taught in our churches. When we have only 56% of General Conference delegates believing God’s grace is for all we have a problem of theology. Are we Methodists? God’s grace is a fundamental part of John Wesley’s belief and theology and the movement he founded. When 44% of those attending General Conference do not understand John Wesley’s theology of grace we have a serious problem. When harmful language is used in ‘holy conferencing’ we have a problem as a church. When a translator feels he must make it clear these are the delegate’s words and not his own we have a problem as a church. My hope is that progressive pastors continue to operate as they have been doing, that hearts are transformed in clergy and laity who see God’s grace as having limits and believe that as a church we should not even have a statement that says we disagree on this issue. May we return to our Wesleyan heritage and proclaim a God of love.

The worship service tonight redeemed the day in many ways. We heard two powerful witnesses share about how Jesus said to feed and tend my sheep, and Jesus meant all sheep, not only the one’s you agree with, not only the one’s whose theology is sound to you, who’s lifestyle is similar to yours etc but all God’s sheep. Another shared about how powerful his church was growing up, and its inclusion of all people. We celebrated a love feast together and the songs at the end led many to dance. After a stressful and heart-dropping day dancing felt good. God is at work in our General Conference and thankfully God works outside of the structures we create!

Reflections on the 20th anniversary April 30, 2012

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the riots that started in LA after the trail for the officers accused of beating Rodney King (with video footage evidence that excessive force was used) were acquitted. I was 6 when these occurred and honestly do not remember them. I have heard of them but never known the fuller side to the story. This week NPR has been reflecting on the city 20 years after and remembering those days of riots and fires.

My pastor gave me for Christmas a collection of sermons given on the days after the riots in pulpits around the city. This week I decided to begin reading them. Through them I’ve learned of the damage done to the city, both physically and emotionally. LA is a very international city, with different communities in different sections. It’s also a divided city. I live in a community that is being gentrified. What was once a Latino community is becoming more and more hipster and Anglo, and I am included as part of the gentrification. Many communities are defined by race and ethnicity, which can be both a good and bad thing. It leads to some communities being feared, especially communities of color.

As today marks the 20th anniversary I had hoped to hear a sermon on the riots but I did not today. I was visiting a church in the Simi Valley where I facilitated and shared as part of a panel discussion on immigration. As I was reflecting with a good friend who was the only Anglo at an African American church’s remembering and healing service, I reflected maybe Simi Valley was where I needed to be today. Simi Valley is where the trial was held for the officers in the Rodney King case. Simi Valley is where the officers were acquitted. Simi Valley is where a jury including 10 Anglos decided the fate of the officers and in many ways ignited the riots and fires. Simi Valley is where I was reminded that as an Anglo I am afforded much privilege. My people have caused much pain and perpetuated much discrimination. We must remember that the fight for racial equality is still being fought and as an Anglo I must continue to put myself in situations where I can be in relationships with and hear stories of those who have experienced injustice because of their skin color. I was very disappointed the riots and violence were not even talked about today at the church I visited, but it also serves as a good reminder that these issues cannot be pushed under the rug. We must continue to talk about them and reflect on them, until the day when there is true equality.LA is still a divided city. It is less violent than in previous decades but just because there are less murders do not mean we are a healed city. Please pray for LA and communities all around the US as we struggle for justice for all races and ethnicities.

It’s not just a cellphone April 16, 2012

Two blog posts in one day, must be a special day!

I had a very touching moment last week I’d like to share with you all. One of the wonderful students I have come to love and adore is Carlitos, a student at UCLA. He has opened his heart to me and wonderful ways since I met him last fall. I had seen on facebook about two weeks ago a notice that his phone no longer worked well. The screen had completely stopped working so he could no longer make outgoing calls or read or send texts. He has a dumb phone like myself (sorry that’s what I call my non-smart phone that works quite well but since it isn’t smart I call it a dumb phone). I had meant to offer him my old phone though it isn’t ideal, the earpiece stopped working and only operates with speaker phone. Well last week he sent out a message on facebook that he had a new phone but has lost all of his contacts, so to please send him a text or email with your number. I sent him an email and we soon started texting each other. I said joyfully, so I see you got a new phone. He then told me about how he was talking to his mother and just explaining about his phone when his mother said go get a new phone. His mother who works very hard but struggles to make ends meet wanted to make sure her son had a new phone. So Carlitos took a risk like he does every time he uses public transportation and traveled home (taking much longer than it should with the great public transit Southern California has) to get money from his mom to buy a new phone so he could call people. His mother’s generosity is a reminder of how much immigrants in this country struggle to provide for things I take for granted. If my phone suddenly stopped working and I didn’t have the funds to buy a new one my parents would easily give me money. Yes they work hard for their money but they have jobs that pay decent wages, jobs that have allowed them to save for my sister and I to attend college, jobs that provide them with benefits and food on the table and even the ability to travel. Carlitos’ mom works just as hard if not harder than my own mother to provide the basic necessities for her babies. The sacrifice she made to give her son a new phone touches my heart and soul. Carlitos himself is incredibly touched by his mother’s generosity. He told me he plans to take care of this phone like nothing else, its not just a phone but a symbol of the sacrifice his mother makes on a daily basis. It is stories like these that remind me of why the work I do is important, why the church needs to recognize the humanity of all people, including immigrants and that so many parents just want to provide for their families and their babies, just like my parents were able to do.

Vacation and back to work! April 16, 2012

My apologizes for taking so long to update my blog! I’ve had a busy few months. After my Chicago trip I came back to LA for a week and then headed to the East Coast. On the East Coast I attended a conference in New Jersey for work and then headed down to DC to hang out with friends for a few days. I even got a chance to see a US-2 in DC, Alex, he’s pictured below in front of his work- General Board of Church and Society. I had a great time catching up with so many people I love and adore, it was great to see so many friends. I was even able to see one of my aunts who lives in Northern VA and see some cousins and cute babies! I spent a worship service at the church I interned, Mount Olivet and it was so wonderful to see so many mentors and friends. I had a week full of great hugs! I met up with my parents and on our drive to Richmond I got to see another aunt and uncle, so great to see my family whom I love and adore! Then I spent several days at home with my parents in Richmond (Chesterfield County technically). It was wonderful to sleep in. On the first morning I was there I woke up to a light snowfall, clearly Richmond was afraid I would miss snow entirely this year! Midweek I went to visit my sister in Culpeper and we had a fun day of kayaking and hanging out. I spoke at her church about being a US-2 to the youth group. The rest of the week I had a great time resting and relaxing with my parents and exploring my favorite parts of Richmond. I got to see some great friends and even had a friend and her husband drive all the way from Baltimore to see me. Then I headed up to NYC for a work event before coming back to LA. I had a great vacation and was a little overwhelmed with work when I got back, however it’s now mostly under control! I’ll update soon about fun work things, here are some pictures for now

Chicago February 21, 2012

Last week I went to Chicago for a work conference. Chicago is an interesting city for me. My work conference was a training for my work as a Justice Discipler for the Immigrant Welcoming Congregations journey that I am organizing. We had our kick-off retreat here in the California-Pacific conference in late January with about 60 people in attendance. In Chicago I was able to meet other Justice Disciplers from around the country and receive more information and training on my work.

The last time I was in the great city of Chicago I was three months old. My parents decided to take me on a road trip and show off their new family. My family had greatly expanded in the past year, my parents had gotten married and now had two daughters, my older sister who was adopted by both my parents when they married and then me. So they decided to take a colicky three month old on a road trip to Kansas via Chicago. My own immigration story somewhat begins in Chicago where my grandparents met. My Polish grandfather met and married my German grandmother in this city and decided to raise their two children on the edge of the Polish neighborhood. My grandfather was a plumber, and they would talk in Polish around their children when they didn’t want them to hear what they said. Unfortunately a lot of their cultures went unpreserved in my family. My own last name was changed when my great grandparents emigrated from Poland through Ellis Island.

While my training in Chicago was wonderful, and I now have a better idea of what my job entails for the next year or so I found myself finding Chicago very familiar. It felt like a ‘normal’ midwest or East Coast city. I got to experience a ‘normal’ winter, complete with grey sky’s, cold temperatures and snow flurries. I found that when I was on the metro on the way to the airport in my mind I thought I was returning to DC/VA and had to tell myself no that is not your home right now, you are returning to sunshine and warmer temperatures. It was a strange reality to be in a familiar-feeling place, though I hadn’t been there in a long long time, returning to a still unfamiliar home.

However as I prepare to return to the East Coast for a much needed vacation at the end of this week I find myself already missing my friends and life here in LA. What a great predicament to be faced with, already missing my life here before I leave to return to what is familiar. Prayers for all those living in places that are still unfamiliar and different from their prior home.

Pictures February 8, 2012

My sister Meghan is very honest, and told me that if I wanted her to read my blog I needed to include more pictures, so here are some pictures so more people like my sister will read my blog! Included are pictures of my supervisor and pastor David, my officemate Danny, some adventures with friends including my friend Holly, Shoshana and my friend Sarah who came to visit right after Christmas.

Prayer January 16, 2012

These past two weeks have been wonderful though incredibly busy. My supervisor was on a much-needed vacation which I encouraged him to go on so I was in charge at the church. While it did not add too much more responsibility to my plate my Immigration Task Force work increased these past two weeks which is a really good thing! I am organizing congregations around an Immigrant Welcoming Congregations journey which has its kick-off retreat this Saturday so now I’m in somewhat survival mode though taking today off to rest before the sprint!

I have always enjoyed writing prayers for worship services and found this practice to be particularly renewing these past two weeks. My pastor at the church I worked in in Arlington Virginia encouraged me to write them more, advice that has stayed with me though gone pretty much undone. Since I’ve been busy and unable to devote too much time to my blog I will share the corporate prayer I wrote for Echo Park this week:

God of hope, this week marked the two-year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti. We ask that you not forget your children there, and do not let us forget our brothers and sisters in Haiti. May we not forget their struggle to survive, their struggle to rebuild and return to a life of normalcy. Many are still living in tents, in deplorable conditions. Keep our Haitian brothers and sisters ever on our hearts and minds. May we not be satisfied until our Haitian brothers and sisters are satisfied. Keep your children ever on our mind wherever there is suffering in your world. Use us to be agents of your hope.

God of mercy, you know the struggles that we encounter in our everyday lives, struggles to survive, struggles to be content with our situations, yet work for change, struggles to fulfill your call in our lives. Give us hearts that yearn for a better life for ourselves and those around us, a life full of mercy. Open our ears to your call in our lives. Open our eyes to the path you desire us to lead. Give us the strength and courage to live out your call in our lives. Where we are called to hold people accountable grant us your courage. Where we are called to show love and mercy give us your loving arms and non-judgmental heart. Where we are called to do tasks that stretch us and challenge us give us your assurance that you are present with us, every step of the way. Where we are called to join a long struggle for justice grant us your patience, remind us that you call us to difficult things yet you are moving even when we are unable to feel it.

God of justice, as we as a country celebrate the life and legacy of Martin Luther King Jr may we be reminded that the work is not yet finished. Open our eyes to the injustice around us. Show us the places in our own lives where we need to change. Show us the places in our communities and world where discrimination creates barriers and makes us feel more comfortable exploiting our brothers and sisters. May we not rest until all of your children are equal in our own eyes. Grant us your strength to confront the systems we as humans have created to allow us to believe some are better than others. Remind us that you created each of us in your image and you call us to live as true brothers and sisters, neighbors who love each other as much as we love ourselves and you.

God of comfort, you know the prayers on our hearts, the people in our lives who are continually on our minds. You know our loved ones who we grieve for. You know our loved ones who are sick and in need of your care. You know the names of the people in our lives who we wish to reconcile with. Be ever-present with these people and the others who we care so deeply about. Grant us your peace to know that you are ever working in our lives and in the lives of those we love and care for.

In your name we pray, Amen

Running reflections December 23, 2011

As I went on an hour-long run today I found myself grateful for so many things. I am grateful to live in such a wonderful city. I’m grateful for the sunshine that is present almost every day! On my run I went to Elysian Park, the second largest park in LA and very close to my house. My neighborhood and the park is set on a hill. Along the ridge and through the park the view is amazing. I was able to jog and see the buildings of Downtown LA, various cities that make up the surrounding area, the iconic Hollywood sign, the gorgeous mountains and what I can at least pretend is the ocean. On my jog I also found myself becoming overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing people I have met and serve with here in LA.

This past month has been hard, for a multitude of reasons including being homesick. Thanksgiving was my second time I was not able to spend the holiday with my family. This is my first Christmas not with my immediate family. I made the decision when I took the US-2 position to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas in my community.  I work with people who often cannot see their families for the holidays. For many it is not worth the risk and danger to cross borders to see loved ones for the holidays. For many the cost of traveling is too much, as well as luxury of having time off from one’s job if one is fortunate enough to have a job. While my decision was a choice not forced upon me by immigration laws or my economic situation, it does give me a glimpse of what many people go through during the holidays.

These past few weeks I’ve been reminded of what an amazing community I have here in LA. I live with wonderful people who have become family. The church I work in is full of wonderful people who care for my soul in amazing ways. The friends I’ve made already support me and care for me in ways I did not think were possible in such a short time. I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who give me the space and freedom to discern my call here in LA, to question my own beliefs and culture I come from, to wrestle with hard questions and to ask where God is. I have wonderful friends all over the country and world who are supporting me in wonderful ways, often ways I am not aware of, asking me how I am, and praying for me. I was talking to a good friend from seminary who recently moved to China and we were talking about how much those prayers mean to us. Before when someone said they were praying for me it meant a lot, but here, when I am struggling, those prayers carry me until I’m able to see the wonderful things God provides. Thank you for the prayers!

These past few weeks I’m also reminded of how amazing my family is. Today is the 17th anniversary of my grandfather Buck’s death. I remember seeing Buck take his last breaths and how powerful it was to be in the same room with someone you love and care for as they pass on from this world. I’m reminded of my aunt who recently lost her dad and the grieving she, my uncle, my cousins and their kids are all going through. I’m reminded of my uncle Jamo who passed away this summer and what an impact he was on my family. I come from a family who is incredibly supportive of me and my ministry, and my uncle Jamo always wanted to know how I was, what I was doing and talk theology and politics (two fun topics to me!). As I continue to grieve I am reminded of my cousins, their children, and my aunt, as this will be a difficult Christmas for them. Yet in the midst of my family grieving they continue to express their love in wonderful ways, to sending wonderful Christmas cards, pictures and flowers, phone calls and emails. I come from a family not afraid to show love abundantly!

As I spend my first Christmas not with my immediate family I am reminded that this is not a joyous time of the year for everyone. My prayers are with those who are grieving, those who cannot see their family for a variety of reasons, those who need others’ prayers to carry them through this season. May we not forget that Christ came into a worn down world. As we celebrate the birth of Christ may we also be reminded that the world is still worn down. May Christ fill us to be God’s hands and feet and beacons of hope. May we be God’s instruments as God slowly bring in the birth of a new world, where God’s love emanates from all of God’s creation and the walls we have created to separate us as brothers and sisters and broken down forever.

Wind and a successful clinic December 5, 2011

This week we had some strange weather in LA. I’ve been hoping to experience the Santa Ana winds and this week I did! Normally the weather in the US goes from West to East, however during the late fall/early winter the Santa Ana winds come from the East to West. This means we experience a lot more wind. On Wednesday I was on my way home from UCLA where I delivered a short message at the campus worship service when the wind hit. We had strong gusts that brought down parts of palm trees. On my drive home several intersections had non-working signals. Thankfully California drivers are much better with traffic laws than other areas where I have lived and treated them as a 4-way stop. When I got home the wind was still strong. I did not sleep well as I could hear the wind through my windows and the patio furniture at my house kept moving about! On Thursday when I went to work there were parts of trees everywhere. Today, almost a week later, there are still trees down that have yet to be cleared. Also several signs on Sunset Boulevard suffered damage. Prayers for the areas that suffered from the high winds.

This Saturday we had our Neighborhood Immigration Clinic. We partnered with some students from UCLA who were interning at CHIRLA (Coalition for Human Immigration Reform in LA) to provide the Know Your Rights part of the clinic. They also helped us bring in clients. We had 28 people attend! All received free legal consultations and lunch. It was a learning experience of partnering with another organization and was not without hiccups. However I think it was a great experience for how we can expand the clinics and work with organizations providing similar services. I’m excited about the possibilities that can come from partnering.

On Friday I experienced my first Posada, an event that follows Mary and Joseph as they seek shelter on Christmas Eve. My church partners with the Hollywood Sunset Free Clinic to put on an annual AIDS Posada, which helps bring to light the AIDS epidemic. Unfortunately AIDS is on the rise, especially in the metro area of LA where I live. There has been an increase in young people ages 15-30 who test HIV+. Prayers that education is spread about these diseases and current trends in the increase in those affected are reversed. May my generation see an end to this disease